Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood - When did we allow weight loss to become the primary focus?

Every time I go to the grocery store, I try very hard to avoid looking at the magazines in the check-out lane…but similar to most women, my eyes are often drawn to the latest cover of People magazine or US weekly. Recently, I’ve noticed that they all seem to focus on women’s bodies – either while pregnant or post pregnancy, which is contributing to a trend in our culture for everyone to comment about the bodies of new mothers. Whether your body goes back to its original form instantly or is changed forever – this should not be a topic of conversation for the general public! We are so obsessed as a culture with sexualizing and objectifying women’s bodies that we cannot even appreciate the gift of pregnancy and childbirth without turning it into a feared natural disaster known to wreck the female form…
As a pregnant mother, you can try to give yourself cognitive behavioral therapy all you want – but your efforts to restructure those negative thoughts will likely be derailed by the frequent comments you get such as:  “you don’t even look that pregnant” or “I see you’re starting to carry that baby weight in your hips” --- yes, I received both of these statements and several others on a daily basis while pregnant! As an eating disorder treatment professional, I tend to be very vocal about how comments about my body are inappropriate – but most people still don’t seem to understand why telling you how thin you look is not a compliment. Because this seems like such a difficult concept to grasp, I will spell it out with a few examples: First, telling someone how great they look due to weight loss only causes them to question how you viewed their body prior to weight loss. Also, when you make comments about someone’s weight loss, others hear this and instantly start to question how their bodies are observed and judged by others.
We all have a genetic set point for weight, which may vary slightly due to nutrition and exercise – but basically our society as a whole is trying to fight biology – and the only “biggest loser” here is our self-esteem. If you don’t believe me, just go sit at your local mall and listen to the conversations young girls are having while they’re trying on clothes…Or better yet, attend lunch in the cafeteria at a nearby school – I’m sure you’ll hear the word “diet” mentioned a number of times. Adult women need to realize the negative impact we are having on young women when we are influenced by the weight loss industry and the idealization of thin bodies. I could probably go on forever, so I’ll now return to my point about pregnancy specifically…
Weight loss can become some type of challenge or competition (and some of us really thrive on a challenge), so maybe developing another pregnancy challenge is necessary. Focusing on the strength required for natural childbirth, for example, is a good alternative to overcoming an unhealthy motivation to lose weight that might arise while pregnant. Also, for women who have been disconnected from their bodies or feelings in the past, the opportunity to experience natural childbirth allows you to sit with an incredible amount of discomfort – while having faith that your body knows just what to do! There are so many parallels between the process of childbirth and that of eating disorder recovery - first of which is trusting your body rather than trying to control it. Knowing that you could choose instant relief, but have the ability to push through the discomfort – I relate this to eating disorder recovery because it may sometimes feel easier to reach out for an unhealthy coping strategy (restricting or purging) to manage uncomfortable feelings, but the ability to overcome a challenge, choose instead to take care of yourself, and feel more connected to your body is far better than any amount of feedback you could ever receive about your weight loss from others.
(My disclaimer: natural childbirth is not for everyone and I don’t even know if it is something that I would choose to do again, but it is one strategy for overcoming the unhealthy approach to pregnancy that is fueled by the media).
The Point:
1.       Do not read beauty magazines – they will only serve to make you feel insecure

2.       Avoid commenting on other people's bodies and your own – this only serves to reinforce negative messages about weight loss and we get enough of that from the media every day

3.       If you think you may be susceptible to body image issues while pregnant, find another more meaningful challenge to sustain your focus


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