Anxiety and Happiness - How are these two constructs connected?

As I anxiously awaited an interview last week, I thumbed through the Psychology Today magazine lying next to me in the waiting area. As I perused the table of contents, one topic in particular stood out to me - “What Happy People Do Differently.” The gist of the article is that happy people are “curious” and uninhibited by anxiety. It was ironic that I selected this article of all articles as I was processing and attempting to manage my own anxiety. Similar to the very experience that I found myself in as I read the article, I realized that most truly exceptional experiences in my life resulted from a combination of intense nervousness and overwhelming excitement. I remember when I first walked across North Campus at the University of Georgia and feared I would be one of the many to lose my HOPE scholarship or worse yet, fail out of school – but I was also filled with an abundance of joy and excitement provided by the opportunity just to be there. Similarly, I was scared and excited when I began my master’s program, doctoral program, pre-doc internship, and my first job. On a more personal level, I also experienced a mix bag of emotions (anxiety, fear, joy) when I met my husband --- and so I began to notice a theme, the truly great experiences in my life did in fact result from facing my anxiety. Also, I began to reflect on the inverse correlation between my fears and the reality of my experiences. I didn’t lose my HOPE scholarship, I graduated with honors. I didn’t fail my comprehensive exams, I passed with distinction. Matt did not break my heart, we got engaged 3 months later….the point is– I would have missed out on all of this had I not taken those chances…When my interviewer opened the door and invited me into his office, I glanced back at the black and yellow print, took a deep breath, and decided I have enough experience under my proverbial belt to stop being scared.

 

I also asked members of my acceptance and commitment therapy eating disorder treatment group last night to read this article and reflect upon the implications of how anxiety could be interfering with their happiness/willingness to take risks. As an Adlerian Psychologist, I believe fear of inadequacy is a primary driving force behind most eating disorders and other types of unhealthy coping strategies – and if you begin to look for inadequacy, you will indeed find it. In contrast, if you are able to sit with the anxiety and focus on the excitement of the opportunity – you might find yourself in a completely different state of mind – both happier and more successful. My Adlerian principles of social interest were also highlighted in this article regarding a study by Todd Kashdan and Michael Steger, which found that participants who monitored their own daily activities and how they felt, frequently felt curious on a given day and also experienced the most life satisfaction—“and engaged in the highest number of happiness-inducing activities, such as expressing gratitude to a colleague or volunteering to help others.”

 

The Point:

 

1.     Anxiety is not a bad thing – it actually oftentimes signals that something great is about to happen.

2.     Social Interest – or being passionate about helping others contributes to feelings of happiness and also increases confidence needed to overcome self-doubt

3.     Simply put – Just believe in yourself – if you don’t, no one else will --- and most of the time that’s all other people are looking for – your confidence that you have what it takes

(Addendum: the goal of risk taking should be the challenge rather than achieving the desired outcome. Personal growth is the ultimate accomplishment because all other goals are usually forgotten, neglected, or diminished after they're achieved)

What Happy People Do Differently

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