Meandering Thoughts of a Psychologist

This morning in the Starbucks line I noticed a woman with two small children standing behind me. The kids were elbow deep in the partial cooler and pulling out vanilla and chocolate milk boxes…the same kind my daughter loves. As the woman turned sideways to offer a reminder “cold milk or hot chocolate, you only get one,” I noticed her pregnant belly and put together outfit – a modest flowing shirt and sweater over leggings, with a bohemian style, matching necklace. She was really beautiful but not in the stereotypical super thin model kind of way…but more because of her style, the way she carried herself with confidence, and how calmly she directed her children as if they were on a fieldtrip from school. I enjoy thinking about what people might be feeling or thinking as I observe them waiting to order at Starbucks or checking-out at the grocery store. I wonder if this woman's thoughts are focused on the present moment – reflecting on how excited her children are j...

In the field of psychology and within social justice advocacy, we talk about different types of privilege (white privilege, male privilege, etc), but seldom do we ever hear the term thin privilege. Similar to race, sexual orientation, and gender – we actually have very little control over our weight. Like intelligence scores, our body weights fall within the bell curve – mostly near average with some people being larger and smaller. I think it’s helpful to think about genetic set point range in weights as similar to dog breeds. An English Mastiff is never going to have the body of a boxer. Yes, there are somewhat larger/smaller dogs within each breed, but overall genetics set the course.                 Within our society, weight bias is common. Most individuals know that it is not okay to make racist, gender biased, or homophobic comments – but for some reason people think it is completely okay to comment about a perso...

I wanted to provide a few links that support topics discussed in my blog. If you doubt that we have a genetic set point range or that the sensory specific satiation principle exists, please check out the links below. I hope this information helps you understand why the current approach to diet and exercise in our culture is NOT helpful! Mind Over Milkshake   Why Dieting Doesn't Usually Work  

As I boarded a flight to Chicago this morning, my thoughts turned to the recent missing plane incident in Malaysia. I am unable to articulate what I felt, but it was much more unsettling than anything I’ve experienced while boarding a plane in the past. Sure I’ve had a few fleeting thoughts of what could happen as a result of entrusting my life to a flight crew and a plane, but it’s never really bothered me before. Even directly following 9/11 or after the plane crashed into a home only miles away from where I lived in Buffalo, I was not phased. The logical part of my brain, of course, reassured me that the one hour flight from Baltimore to Chicago was not a major risk…but why this strange preoccupation. Then I realized, it must be the uncertainty. Uncertainty is inherently a part of life, but also perhaps the greatest source of fear. Why is it that not knowing the fate of those traveling on flight 370 is more upsetting than having factual knowledge about several other ...

As a reformed perfectionist, I still sometimes wake up overwhelmed by the obligations of my day. As my eyes open each morning, my mind swarms with thoughts…What time do I need to be at the office? How many clients do I have scheduled today? Where should I take my 2 year old to play today? Should I empty the dishwasher or fold the clothes? Should I take the dog for a walk or try to make a cycling class at the gym?...Overwhelmed and exhausted by my thoughts, I usually want to crawl back under the covers, but luckily I’ve found an approach to coping with this experience that is both motivating and fulfilling. When we change the question from “what should I do” to “what I’m able to do,” and we begin to see life as an opportunity rather than an obligation – it feels like a completely different experience. We tell ourselves that we have to worry about these things in order to be “productive” when in reality the worry takes the joy out of activities that could be fun. Life often does not...