Meandering Thoughts of a Psychologist

At one point in my life, I declared that I did not want to have biological children and instead wanted to adopt.   Part of this decision was based on the fact that my mother grew up in foster care, and I wanted to give back in some way because of my gratitude to those who chose to love her. The other reason for this choice was my fear that I would not be a good parent. I naively thought that if I selflessly gave to a child without parents that regardless of my shortcomings as a parent, I would be providing love the child might not otherwise have. Then I met my husband, fell in-love, and surprise we had a baby…and then surprise a few years later we had another baby. Today was one of those challenging days as a parent where I began to think THANK GOD I AM NOT A CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST! After thinking about this statement and why I even felt the need to declare that I’m not a specialist in the area of child psychology, I had another thought…this is going to be even more difficult whe...

Good Review about Inside Out: http://www.slate.com/blogs/quora/2015/07/01/inside_out_how_realistic_is_the_psychology.html I would add to this review that the movie is also good for educating parents about the usefulness of all emotions. As parents, it is very important to mirror the feelings of our children and allow them to talk about their experiences rather than just encouraging them to "be okay." Regarding eating disorder treatment specifically: individuals with EDs are oftentimes highly attuned to the feelings of others, but disconnected from their own internal experiences. When an individu al neglects their own feelings and focuses on the emotions of others, food becomes a way of managing emotions (e.g. distraction by focusing on rigidity of restricting food, eating to numb out, purging as a way to feel pain or difficult emotions, etc.). Eating disorders are oftentimes more strongly tied to affect regulation than body image issues - which is surprising to most p...

My Facebook has been evenly divided regarding controversy over the confederate flag. I see the same arguments posted over and over again: Arguments that the flag is about states rights and Southern pride and alternatively that the flag represents hatred and racism. My view is that both are correct.  I had a really hard time in graduate school when I took my social psychology course. People in my class spoke of the South in such a negative way that I shut down completely and refused to even participate in the conversation. Someone spoke about attending a wedding in the South and leaving early because Dixieland Delight was played at the reception. They spoke about rednecks and uneducated people, and I could not understand how an educated group of people who are suppose to "appreciate diversity" could stereotype and judge an entire geographical region. The South to me represents a lot of things: fried chicken, sweet tea, church on Sunday, sun dresses, monogrammed bags, Southe...

When I was about 12 years old, I voiced in a Sunday school class that I never wanted to have children. At this point, I do not remember exactly my intention behind this comment, but the reply will stay with me forever. I was told that I was “selfish” and asked the question “what if my parents made that decision.” For a few moments, I thought this was a rhetorical question, but I soon realized my Sunday school classmates and the teacher were waiting on a reply. I think my eyes swelled a little with tears, and I just looked away. It was clear that within my faith and within my community, this was an unacceptable comment. My parents, however, gave me different feedback at home when I told them about the discussion. They both replied that parenthood, although wonderful is also very challenging, and that individuals should be absolutely certain that they want children before bringing them in this world. Despite their small town upbringing and the religious influence of our Southern Baptist ...

As I look at social media today, I see a huge divide and no common ground. Many of my psychologist/therapist/liberal/academic friends stating that riots are a necessary voice for those who cannot be heard. Other Conservative friends condemning these acts and declaring how this further substantiates why police brutality happens and how certain communities are corrupt and contribute to their own problems. Everyone is forced to pick a side, and I refuse. Poverty and lack of opportunities are problems. Police corruption is a problem. Parents not being parents is a problem. Racism and discrimination are problems. People not valuing human life is a problem. Telling young people it is acceptable to riot, ruin property, and destroy their already limited resources in their communities is a problem. Everyone mindlessly joining one side of the argument and not listening to others is a problem. We have a lot of problems – but we also seem to be growing the divide instead of contributing to any ...