Meandering Thoughts of a Psychologist

When most people think of talk therapy, they likely conjure up thoughts about Carl Rogers’ non-directive, humanistic approach. This is what my brother refers to when he suggests that as a psychologist, I just repeat back what clients say to me…Essentially, unconditional positive regard involves “showing complete support and acceptance of a person no matter what that person says or does.” On one hand, I totally agree and very much identify as a humanistic psychologist because I am accepting and supportive of my clients regardless of what they say or do. I think this gets tricky, however, in what this actually looks like in therapy. As a graduate student, I took this to mean listening with empathy and remaining as much of a “blank slate” as possible. I now understand this to mean continuing to be empathic, but also providing feedback about how I feel while interacting with clients. The interpersonal process approach to therapy suggests that whatever is happening in the therapy...

​In life, individuals generally live in one of two camps. We either live in avoidance of our fears or live with a mission to achieve our values. It may seem as if it is possible to do both, but in reality it is not. Fears (e.g. fear of inadequacy/failure and the fear of disappointment/judgment from others) prevent us from living our purpose. Fear distracts us from our purpose by suggesting we are not good enough to achieve our values. When we feel inadequate, we search for evidence that we are somehow superior to our peers - which becomes the distraction. We as women often divide ourselves into groups, and this makes sense from an evolutionary perspective (think survival of the fittest and making sure that your "group" continues on) --- the problem is that we are no longer fighting for our survival and instead stepping upon one another (not to survive), but rather to make ourselves feel better. Th...