Do Happy People Experience Depression?

Depression is often viewed as a condition of “sadness” by the general population, and I wish we could all move beyond this perception to help both individuals struggling with depression and their support systems understand the magnitude of the illness. Yes, gratitude and thinking positive can be helpful suggestions, but they sometimes make an individual with depression feel more guilty and responsible for their own suffering.

In a depressive episode, an individual can feel a complete lack of motivation and energy. Simple tasks like showering can feel challenging, which is why personal hygiene can deteriorate in extreme cases. One of the most challenging symptoms of depression is the decline in cognition – the ability to prioritize tasks, make decisions, think competently at work, read and comprehend, and process information is diminished. Oftentimes and especially if the person has experienced past trauma, critical and almost paranoid intrusive thoughts emerge reinforcing your sense of worthlessness, guilt and rumination over past failures, potential future failures, and a sense that you are a burden to those you love. Perspective is largely altered when depressive episodes feel permanent and inescapable. In extreme cases, a person feels ending life will be the only relief from this suffering and more importantly a relief for those to whom you perceive yourself to be a burden. Many times these thoughts are intrusive and unwanted, but persistent none-the-less.

Anhedonia or lack of joy in activities you generally find engaging is a particularly challenging symptom. Social situations feel taxing and provide more opportunities for negative rumination about your own behavior. Even the most enjoyable activities (when not depressed) seem unappealing. Behavioral activation is often encouraged to promote social interaction and physical activity, but even these activities feel different when struggling with the illness of depression. There is nothing more depressing than feeling like you have a great career, a loving family, supportive friends, and tons of blessings, but emotions of appreciation and joy are inaccessible.

Sleep disruption is prominent, either the inability to sleep or excessive sleep without feeling well rested. Eating habits are also affected – either a complete loss of appetite (reducing nutrition and furthering exhaustion) or overeating but not feeling satisfied (instead feeling guilty for eating and continuously hungry).

Perhaps the biggest misnomer of depression relates to how the person appears to others outside their home. Many people with severe depression appear happy and encouraging to others. Think of Robin Williams and many other comedians who use their pain to create joy for others. This adds to the feelings of guilt or belief for the person that they are capable of functioning and appearing “normal,” just lazy and at fault for their own suffering. People with emotional pain and depression are often drawn to careers of comedy, therapy, art, music, and ministry because of their understanding of human suffering and wanting to help others. While fulfilling, these careers as helpers, motivators, entertainers, and artists in the world can be taxing to an already depleted person resulting in more exhaustion and reinforcing the cycle of depression.

Medication, psychotherapy, spiritual support, exercise, and adequate sleep and nutrition can help a person with major depression maintain longer episodes of remission from the disorder, but often this condition is chronic - returning during situations of high stress, triggers of past trauma, seasonally, or sometimes randomly.

Individuals with depression do not receive the compassion we tend to provide with other illnesses because the condition is commonly misunderstood by the general public and oftentimes by people struggling with it. Depression is an illness of the brain (the most complex organ of all), and this illness is both physical and psychological. More compassion, understanding from others, and support of self-care and treatment result in less severe episodes and earlier remittance of symptoms. If we aim to reduce the risk of suicide and improve remission rates for individuals with depression, we need to normalize the commonality of depression but also understand that it is not just "sadness." Happy people get depressed too. In fact, many people who die by suicide appear "happy" to others. 

The suicide and crisis number is 988. If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, please encourage them to get help. Multiple levels of care are available - outpatient therapy, inpatient psychiatric hospitalization, and residential treatment.