ACT - Do It Anyway (Committed Action)


During morning huddle with my co-workers, we spoke about the negative reaction some patients have to group exercise. This is where Acceptance and Commitment therapy is very useful! 

You will continue to have thoughts/feelings that make group exercise uncomfortable, do it anyway! Be curious about your thoughts/feelings and observe them, but don't allow them to dictate your behavior. Connect with your values - your desire to grow and change, your desire to be fearless! Think about the experiences as a child of when you (maybe) weren't good in gym class or sports (I can relate...our gym teacher used to circle me saying "911" because I fell all the time) - how would you encourage your 10 year old self to be fearless and participate anyway? We need to encourage ourselves with the same gentle encouragement we would use with our kids! Put a picture of your 10 year old self in your mirror & every morning do something to challenge him/her!

Don't allow discomfort today to prevent you from pursuing a value driven life!

  • Fearful of dating? sign up for online dating and start talking to people!
  • Scared of group exercise? sign up for a spin class!
  • Want a better relationship with someone (even someone who is difficult?) - Talk to them. If there's not a comfortable segue into the conversation, say "this is hard to talk about....then say what you need to say
  • Worried about asking for support or help because it's hard to be vulnerable, ask anyway! Be "healthy selfish!"
This is why many people have unhealthy relationships with food. We avoid discomfort:

- WE WANT A QUICK FIX AND TO LOSE WEIGHT AND FEEL GOOD AS SOON AS POSSIBLE...so we diet and "control" food (which is unhealthy) and end up gaining more weight in the future and being less healthy as a result!

- WE WANT TO FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH OTHERS IN THE MOMENT...so we avoid our real feelings and avoid addressing conflict and avoid asking for what we need in relationships...what results? years of resentment, passive aggressive behavior, and even bigger mess of emotions in relationships.

It's paradoxical, but we think "control" helps us be successful, but it IS SO LIMITING! If you try to control your appetite with rigid rules about food, you will end up feeling controlled by food. If you try to maintain relationships by controlling your interactions (e.g. withholding feelings, not asking for what your need), relationships will be less fulfilling.

"Until the pain of remaining the same hurts more than the pain of change, most people prefer to remain the same." - Dr. Richard Dobson



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Transforming Political Challenges into Purpose - (Conflict is not always bad)

 My Personal Statement for Duke Divinity Masters Program - Due Date November 1st! I grew up in a small Baptist church in rural North Georgia, where Sundays were a blend of potluck casseroles and occasional Sunday School lectures on how my goals of pursuing a career instead of mothering seemed “selfish.” Similar to how my opinion on mothering changed, my spirituality also evolved over the years. I learned early how sometimes our struggles in life become the milestones that shape our journey. One of my earliest spiritual memories is of sitting in the church fellowship hall, watching a video series based on Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life. At the time, I was an adolescent struggling with depression and disordered eating. Twenty years ago, the stigma of mental health issues was much more pronounced, and I interpreted my issues as moral failings: evidence that I was not praying hard enough, believing deeply enough, or living righteously enough. In that context, Warren’s message—t...
Read more

My Daughter’s thoughts on the divorce and reunification

Image
 Hadleigh said, “I’m like you, mom, because I like to write. The difference is that you write when you’re happy, and I write when I’m sad…” Hadleigh (age 12) wrote the following: The Quilt (about the divorce) and How They Patched It (about reunification) ~ The quilt   By Hadleigh Pileski    I felt sad, upset, betrayed, and more than anything confused. My heart was about to burst out of my chest. My jaw was going to fall off my face. I had nothing to say, and even if I did, I had no way of explaining what a terrible nightmare I was in. At that moment, it was as if I could feel every grain of wood on the bench I was sitting on, or I could recite each name of spice from the floating aroma coming from the kitchen, yet I could still hear the leaves turning at the site of fall. Somehow, with just a few words the world found a key to open a door to put all of its weight  on my shoulders, and I couldn't seem to get it off.     One hour earlier,...
Read more

The Washing Machine Years

Image
My last blog post was back in 2020. I think that speaks to the impact of COVID and the aftermath of everything else that resulted. Since 2020, it’s felt like I’ve been on the wash cycle and unable to come up for air, but I told my partner (my ex-husband) that I’ll know I am “better” when I start writing again. Maybe it can also give me some clarity about what exactly happened in my life that I’m still struggling to understand. COVID, first off, made us all feel like the world as we knew it was changing and uncertain. Two of my family members died by suicide that year, and I recognized that I was probably entering the hormonal phase of perimenopause. In an effort to find some degree of control in my life, I set out to open a non-profit mental health clinic. My caseload was too extensive for me to handle alone, and I wanted to do more for the county to expand mental health services and prevent other families from experiencing the loss of loved ones due to untreated depression.  For...
Read more