~Influence Others or Simply Live By Example ~

Recently, something caused me to question if my stance on the topic of eating/exercise comes across in the same way that more rigid religious beliefs are shared. It made me think about my mom and what a devout Christian woman she is, but also how she leads by example versus pushing her views on others. This made me see that perhaps I should simply continue to live my life by example rather than trying to change how others feel about food and exercise.

This reflection helped me to better understand those who are passionate about sharing their religious convictions with others. I similarly feel that the topics of body acceptance/mindful eating saved and changed my life for the better, and I do not want others to experience the isolation, anxiety, self-hatred (I could go on and on) that go along with eating issues. I now understand a little bit more about why people may be so pushy about religious views if they similarly feel religion transformed their lives and healed their suffering.
So, self-reflection – what do I do with these thoughts? First of all, I am going to try to understand those who speak passionately about their faith – although it’s hard when I feel this message sometimes hurts others. I, personally, choose to live my life like my mother - as an example when it comes to my faith and with less rigidity/more acceptance than some.

After reflecting on the approach of ONLY “living by example” when it comes to food and exercise, I received a message via facebook inbox last night that reinforced why I do what I do. I also reviewed other similar messages received since writing my blog – and these anonymous quotes below are reason enough for me to keep on writing....

 “Usually, I would have really beaten myself up about the fact that I actually did not walk into the gym, but instead, I tried to be very realistic and simply get exercise in other ways. I went today, and I have to say, focusing on just being healthy and not on what the scale says, what the calorie output is, etc..was quite wonderful. It was the first time I had ever done that in my entire life, even going back to well before I gained weight and I was in a gym almost every day.”

“Your posts led me to try to change the way I think and act about everything. I am still in the beginning stages, and I am constantly re-wrapping my mind around being mindful and intuitive in my eating. it is difficult. But you have started me on this journey, and I am very grateful. I feel like there is a light in the darkness…”

“I wanted to thank you for your post I just read regarding negative body images plagued by society's need for a "normal" body image. I feel like The Lord used you to help me see my own faults as a parent and the damage it has caused with my daughter. As I was in tears about this very subject yesterday, your words ring true.”

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Transforming Political Challenges into Purpose - (Conflict is not always bad)

 My Personal Statement for Duke Divinity Masters Program - Due Date November 1st! I grew up in a small Baptist church in rural North Georgia, where Sundays were a blend of potluck casseroles and occasional Sunday School lectures on how my goals of pursuing a career instead of mothering seemed “selfish.” Similar to how my opinion on mothering changed, my spirituality also evolved over the years. I learned early how sometimes our struggles in life become the milestones that shape our journey. One of my earliest spiritual memories is of sitting in the church fellowship hall, watching a video series based on Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life. At the time, I was an adolescent struggling with depression and disordered eating. Twenty years ago, the stigma of mental health issues was much more pronounced, and I interpreted my issues as moral failings: evidence that I was not praying hard enough, believing deeply enough, or living righteously enough. In that context, Warren’s message—t...
Read more

My Daughter’s thoughts on the divorce and reunification

Image
 Hadleigh said, “I’m like you, mom, because I like to write. The difference is that you write when you’re happy, and I write when I’m sad…” Hadleigh (age 12) wrote the following: The Quilt (about the divorce) and How They Patched It (about reunification) ~ The quilt   By Hadleigh Pileski    I felt sad, upset, betrayed, and more than anything confused. My heart was about to burst out of my chest. My jaw was going to fall off my face. I had nothing to say, and even if I did, I had no way of explaining what a terrible nightmare I was in. At that moment, it was as if I could feel every grain of wood on the bench I was sitting on, or I could recite each name of spice from the floating aroma coming from the kitchen, yet I could still hear the leaves turning at the site of fall. Somehow, with just a few words the world found a key to open a door to put all of its weight  on my shoulders, and I couldn't seem to get it off.     One hour earlier,...
Read more

The Washing Machine Years

Image
My last blog post was back in 2020. I think that speaks to the impact of COVID and the aftermath of everything else that resulted. Since 2020, it’s felt like I’ve been on the wash cycle and unable to come up for air, but I told my partner (my ex-husband) that I’ll know I am “better” when I start writing again. Maybe it can also give me some clarity about what exactly happened in my life that I’m still struggling to understand. COVID, first off, made us all feel like the world as we knew it was changing and uncertain. Two of my family members died by suicide that year, and I recognized that I was probably entering the hormonal phase of perimenopause. In an effort to find some degree of control in my life, I set out to open a non-profit mental health clinic. My caseload was too extensive for me to handle alone, and I wanted to do more for the county to expand mental health services and prevent other families from experiencing the loss of loved ones due to untreated depression.  For...
Read more