How Does Social Media Affect Body Image


The purpose of this blog is not to criticize social media, but rather explore how increased social networking affects body image. First, I must disclose that I am an avid user of Facebook – it’s a great way to keep up with my family and friends around the world. It can be a wonderful way to advocate for positive body image, diversity appreciation, and other issues I feel passionate about. Facebook also provides somewhat of a journal to document the important (and not so important) points in my life. There are many other positive benefits I’m sure, and it is possible that it could actually help women develop a more positive body image by showing real images of women rather than photo shopped/air brushed images we see in the media…but I’m also considering the downside…

1.       Quest to “post” or “tag” perfect pics

Do we become fearful of posting images that capture joyful laughter or funny expressions due to fear of appearing less attractive? Most of my photos these days are of my daughter, but recovering photos from the albums posted in my 20s reveals a common theme (see photos)…the hand on the hip side pose designed to elongate the arm and provide a slimming appearance.  


When young girls view images like this of one another then gaze downward at their own stomach, hips and thighs…of course they “feel” bigger because this is the outcome of viewing a two dimensional figure on a computer screen. Please remember that the next time you facebook stalk your partner's ex-girlfriend and compare yourself to her. Also remember that no matter how attractive someone may look in photos, they may lack depth, a sense of humor, or the many other qualities you happen to hold.


“Beauty only captures attention, personality captures the heart.” – someone other than myself wrote that, but I’m not sure who…
2. Envy beyond appearance
Do you find yourself comparing more than just your physical appearance and actually envying the life others appear to have? This relates to body image as well because many women think I can’t get that partner I want because of my appearance…I can’t have the baby because I can’t get the partner because of my appearance…and I probably can’t get the job I want because I have no confidence because of my appearance. The truth: you need an attitude change more than a transformed appearance.
          3. Food/Weight shaming disguised as “Health Promotion”
Do you read articles by Jane Doe-want-to-be-nutritionist who advises against eating all processed foods, while supporting the consumption of organic only foods. Yeah, this “health” talk sounds good – trust me, I was almost duped into buying a $400 dollar vitamix blender and jumping on the organic only bandwagon at my last Wegman’s visit – until I realized how much I value variation in my diet – and yes that includes occasional stops at fast food restaurants and my love affair with Oreos! I’m all for the promotion of healthy food, but I believe all foods are GOOD Foods in moderation. In my opinion, the war on childhood obesity is a noble cause – but I think we’re taking it a step too far by shaming people about their eating habits…which likely contributes to overeating. This is very similar to me telling my 16 month old to not go down the stairs…where do you think I always find her? Trying to go down the stairs! We often want what we think we “should” not have.
 
4.        Judging your motivation level with the Crossfitters/Runners/Yogis in your Newsfeed
I’m not hating on exercise – it’s great, but like all things – in moderation. A woman I met the other day found out I’m a psychologist specializing in eating disorder treatment, so she shared jokingly that she had an eating disorder. She told me her weight loss journey which occurred after she had two children. She started going to the gym 2x per day starting at 4:30 a.m. My response was that she could self-assess if her exercise was obligatory/excessive. She requested to know the definition for obligatory/excessive exercise, so I told her. At that point, she acknowledged 1) yes, I have to go every day, 2) yes, I still go if I’m sick, and 3) yes, I give up other activities in order to prioritize exercise. Again, I reinforced that it was up to her to determine if it was interfering with her emotional, psychological, or physical functioning. I then changed the subject to why I value the moderation approach. I briefly discussed how young girls sometimes have difficulty with their changing bodies when they go through puberty and that I don’t want my daughter to think “mom has to exercise and eat a certain way to control her body.” The woman then appeared slightly upset as she reflected that during her daughter’s recent 1st grade presentation about “mommy,” she revealed – Mom’s favorite food is salad and her favorite thing to do is exercise. I again reinforced that it is good that she is modeling some admirable goals – physical fitness and incorporation of fruits/vegetables into meals…but she also acknowledged that perhaps she should recognize what else she is modeling…    
The Point:                                                          
1.      Focus on Values rather than goals: You can live your values every day regardless of your situation…
-          Goal: Becoming a mother vs: Value: Caring for and showing children love
-          Goal: Getting Married vs: Value: Connecting to others, not fearing vulnerability
-          Goal: Career/Degree achievement vs: Value: Challenging yourself
-          Goal: Weight Loss vs: Value: Healthy Habits
 
2.      We lose jobs, loved ones, and our youthful appearance – find something more enduring to get you through the difficult times
3.      My 3rd point is a quote:
"Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself…"

Baz Luhrmann
 
  

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Transforming Political Challenges into Purpose - (Conflict is not always bad)

 My Personal Statement for Duke Divinity Masters Program - Due Date November 1st! I grew up in a small Baptist church in rural North Georgia, where Sundays were a blend of potluck casseroles and occasional Sunday School lectures on how my goals of pursuing a career instead of mothering seemed “selfish.” Similar to how my opinion on mothering changed, my spirituality also evolved over the years. I learned early how sometimes our struggles in life become the milestones that shape our journey. One of my earliest spiritual memories is of sitting in the church fellowship hall, watching a video series based on Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life. At the time, I was an adolescent struggling with depression and disordered eating. Twenty years ago, the stigma of mental health issues was much more pronounced, and I interpreted my issues as moral failings: evidence that I was not praying hard enough, believing deeply enough, or living righteously enough. In that context, Warren’s message—t...
Read more

My Daughter’s thoughts on the divorce and reunification

Image
 Hadleigh said, “I’m like you, mom, because I like to write. The difference is that you write when you’re happy, and I write when I’m sad…” Hadleigh (age 12) wrote the following: The Quilt (about the divorce) and How They Patched It (about reunification) ~ The quilt   By Hadleigh Pileski    I felt sad, upset, betrayed, and more than anything confused. My heart was about to burst out of my chest. My jaw was going to fall off my face. I had nothing to say, and even if I did, I had no way of explaining what a terrible nightmare I was in. At that moment, it was as if I could feel every grain of wood on the bench I was sitting on, or I could recite each name of spice from the floating aroma coming from the kitchen, yet I could still hear the leaves turning at the site of fall. Somehow, with just a few words the world found a key to open a door to put all of its weight  on my shoulders, and I couldn't seem to get it off.     One hour earlier,...
Read more

The Washing Machine Years

Image
My last blog post was back in 2020. I think that speaks to the impact of COVID and the aftermath of everything else that resulted. Since 2020, it’s felt like I’ve been on the wash cycle and unable to come up for air, but I told my partner (my ex-husband) that I’ll know I am “better” when I start writing again. Maybe it can also give me some clarity about what exactly happened in my life that I’m still struggling to understand. COVID, first off, made us all feel like the world as we knew it was changing and uncertain. Two of my family members died by suicide that year, and I recognized that I was probably entering the hormonal phase of perimenopause. In an effort to find some degree of control in my life, I set out to open a non-profit mental health clinic. My caseload was too extensive for me to handle alone, and I wanted to do more for the county to expand mental health services and prevent other families from experiencing the loss of loved ones due to untreated depression.  For...
Read more